Today I woke up to a mother who loves me unconditionally, a father who is proud of me, and a step-father who is there to support me.  Friends who inspire and motivate me to be the best I can be, and encourage me to do the things I’m passionate about.  I eat healthy, and I’m beginning to workout again, and get to greet each day with an open mind.  I get to write this blog, and pursue the path of life that makes my soul sing.

So what if I told you I have depression.

Would you believe me? Or would it come as a surprise?

When I get overly emotionally stimulated that I begin to shut down.

Often times a common question about depression is “What are you depressed about?” As if depression revolves around a single source, and if its fixed it will magically disappear.  Another assumption is that if you’re depressed you must be unhappy.   Or that “you’re just having a bad day”, or “it will pass, its just a difficult situation.” But sadness isn’t the only aspect of depression people experience, if they experience it at all.

Its can be brought to us by the lack of motivation.  I’m not talking your “I don’t feel like doing it, because its not something your interested in, or doesn’t add value” lack of motivation.  This is the lack of interest so hard you just want to say F%@& it.  Its not that you don’t want to do it, because you genuinely do, and know that it could be beneficial for you.  It’s the lack of interest in the things that help you cope, they seem mundane and dull.  For example, I hadn’t touched my guitar in over a week (which is unheard of for me).  And it wasn’t because I was too busy, but that I couldn’t find enjoyment from it anymore.  So I workout, and practice my music because I know its good for me and perhaps it is helping me.  Sometimes however, we need to ask for more help.

My Brief Story

I’ve been in and out of counseling since I’ve been about 4 years’ old.  From Play Therapy, to speaking with guidance counselors at school, and other family therapists.  Many of you might not know that for a very long time I used to pull out my hair.  I’m not talking about twirling your hair and taking a few strands out.  I’m talking about handfuls of hair at a time.  This started when I was about 7 years old, and wasn’t noticed for a couple years.  I became more active in my coping methods, and by the time I was in middle school things were more managed.  Into high school I became increasingly better, and as I got into college I hardly ever pull a strand.

Help and support is what made the difference.

Therapy and Family Doctors.  I promise these people aren’t scary and it might take a few different ones before you find your match.  I talk about the sad things, as well as all of the great things that are exciting.  Its an ongoing process that we work through and take as it comes.  But sometimes, that isn’t enough.  Sometimes you need an SSRI or another helper to help regulate things for you.  It doesn’t need to be a high dose, but something to just give you the little push you need.  It also doesn’t have to last forever.

There are times when we all need help.  We are not without our experiences, but we are not without the ability to create new ones either.  Because life is a beautiful thing filled with many people and concepts to understand.  No one’s story is the same, and because of that what depression looks like for everyone is different.

Keep moving forward no matter the pace,

Alex Pircer

if you need any resources please email me at 22launched@gmail.com